Casandra Martin

Windows and doors are neat things. Recently, I stayed in a hotel room with no windows. It was a little strange. The bed was comfortable, the room clean, but it was strangely claustrophobic. It was safe, but there was no light. Day and night melted into one another. It was a surprise to find that rain had fallen during our sleep. There was no way to gauge what was going on in the outside world. No avenue for interacting with what was beyond our door.

Every morning, I open our front door. We have a glass door on the front of our house, and I love to open the heavy door and let the light come through the glass as dawn pours itself across the sky.

This morning as I undid the lock and pulled the door open, I realized that each day I must make the same choice about my heart. I can choose to open it to the wonders and vulnerabilities that come from being unguarded or I can keep it closed. Keeping it locked seems safer, but in reality, suffocating. We were meant to live in light, in color, in full engagement with God and His world. When I close the door to my heart, I hold on to control and let my vision, my understanding set my boundaries.

Open is a learning word, a seeing word, a listening word, a transparent word. It challenges me to let God in, to see Him in new ways, to discover Him in the familiar and the ordinary, to make myself available and vulnerable to grace. Open lets Light in.

My Jesus Resolution today is to be open. I want to be open to whatever God has in store for me today. My tendency is to shut the door. To keep it locked. To protect myself and live in the status quo. Jesus says, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock.” (Revelation 3:20a). He doesn’t push His way in, use a pass key, or walk away. He waits, knocks, loves, and woos. How will you open the door of your heart to Jesus today?

I hate computer trouble. I have a technology-impairment. Normally, my computer and I live in an electronic truce – I don’t try anything fancy, and it lets me do the basics. So when my friend’s computer screen went blue, my heart sank. No amount of kind words, offers of chocolate, or threats to kick it to the curb could coax the computer back to life.

Frustration bubbled to the surface. Time ticked on and on as deadlines loomed and the ASAP’s became overdue. My friend called for help. Tech support walked through the steps designed to jumpstart what had died. Nothing. Again. Nothing. A fatal error had lodged itself in the heart of the system.

“We are sending out a new hard drive.” Total replacement was the only answer. Rip out what is broken and start from scratch.

I saw my reflection in the blue screen.

My hard drive is flawed. My heart has a virus, a fatal error that crashes the system. Sin causes the whole of who I am to die. I don’t work right. I can’t compute. I am unable to function in the way the Designer means for me to live. The only answer is to replace the core. The central processing unit of who I am needs to be ripped out and replaced by something new. No amount of reprogramming, alternate software, kind words, or threats will fix the problem. Only taking the “me” hard drive out and replacing it with the heart of Jesus can bring me back to life.

“And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” – Ezekiel 36:26

My Jesus Resolution today is be thankful for the cross every time I see a computer today. In so many ways, my computer is a mirror of my life. Computers work when they are plugged into the power source. Garbage in/Garbage Out isn’t just about software. I need filters and virus protection on my soul.  And it is what is at the core of a computer that makes it work, fully function, and do all that it is meant to do. The same is true for me. When Jesus is at the center of who I am, there are no more blue screens.

We all ache to be noticed. We long to be seen, known, loved, and valued. Nature, in all of its beauty, humbles us and reminds us that we are small. The world, in all its craziness, treats us like a faceless number, a catalog of needs to be answered and resources to be exploited.

I do the same thing. People become emails to be answered, messages to be returned, demands on my time, and items on a to-do list. It isn’t intentional. Just easier. Easier to check them off rather than look into their eyes, encounter their hurts, and notice.

Jesus noticed. He noticed everybody. He didn’t just notice their damaged limbs, bruised egos, or questioning faith. He didn’t just hear their demands, respond to their questions, or answer their requests for a miracle. He saw their hearts. Noticed their souls. And in the noticing offered grace.

“Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet.” – Luke 8:47a. She had been invisible for twelve years. People didn’t look at her anymore. They looked around her, through her, dismissing her as unclean, unworthy, unwanted, and unloved. Not Jesus. He healed more than the bleeding of her body. He healed the wounds that were bleeding her soul dry. He noticed her. And He notices you. And me.

My Jesus Resolution today is to notice. First, to notice that I cannot go unnoticed. What a banner of love those few words are! He is watching me, seeing me, noticing me. Not just the things about me, but me, me to the core. He knows. He loves. He touches. He heals. Second, to let His noticing spill over into the way I notice others. I want to pay attention. Really see. I am going to call someone and tell them. Give a hug and show them. Send a card and spell it out. Pause, look someone in the face, and see the Godlikeness imprinted on their soul.

We all ache to be noticed. We long to be seen, known, loved, and valued. Nature, in all of its beauty, humbles us and reminds us that we are small. The world, in all its craziness, treats us like a faceless number, a catalog of needs to be answered and resources to be exploited.

I do the same thing. People become emails to be answered, messages to be returned, demands on my time, and items on a to-do list. It isn’t intentional. Just easier. Easier to check them off rather than look into their eyes, encounter their hurts, and notice.

Jesus noticed. He noticed everybody. He didn’t just notice their damaged limbs, bruised egos, or questioning faith. He didn’t just hear their demands, respond to their questions, or answer their requests for a miracle. He saw their hearts. Noticed their souls. And in the noticing offered grace.

“Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet.” – Luke 8:47a. She had been invisible for twelve years. People didn’t look at her anymore. They looked around her, through her, dismissing her as unclean, unworthy, unwanted, and unloved. Not Jesus. He healed more than the bleeding of her body. He healed the wounds that were bleeding her soul dry. He noticed her. And He notices you. And me.

My Jesus Resolution today is to notice. First, to notice that I cannot go unnoticed. What a banner of love those few words are! He is watching me, seeing me, noticing me. Not just the things about me, but me, me to the core. He knows. He loves. He touches. He heals. Second, to let His noticing spill over into the way I notice others. I want to pay attention. Really see. I am going to call someone and tell them. Give a hug and show them. Send a card and spell it out. Pause, look someone in the face, and see the Godlikeness imprinted on their soul.

It was a funny conversation. I was walking into a convention with a woman who was telling me about her dreams. She wants to write a book, and she was describing her efforts to put her thoughts down on paper. I was trying to be encouraging, answering her questions and sharing a little bit of the process I have learned along the way.

I told her that I thought she could do a great job and to keep on writing. She looked at me in horror and explained how messy her manuscripts are. Covered in cross-outs, sectioned by scribbles, and red-lined with bad grammar, she told me that her pages would never be like the clean, flowing writing she reads in my books. I almost started laughing right there.

It takes a whole team of people to put a book together. There are people who check the grammar, who look at the wording, who examine the punctuation, and who make everything look pretty. On my own, I am a mess. One of the most profound lessons I have learned as a writer is that everybody needs an editor.

What is true in the writing world is also true for my soul. On my own, I am a mess. Mistakes cover the pages of my life’s story. Errors, raw places, mismatched choices, and messed up motives misshape my heart. Sin, shame, guilt, and remorse dictate a restless rhythm for my steps.

Everybody needs an Editor. Someone to take out the bad and reshape the good. Someone to filter the focus and clean up the mess. Someone to take our stories and give them a happy ending.

My Jesus Resolution today is to listen to my Editor. Too often, I try to handle it on my own. The plot fails and the storyline comes to a twisted dead end. Thank God for Jesus. He uses His blood to scrub away the messes and mistakes. He applies His love to make the words of my story flow with His light and truth. He works in grace, asks for surrender, and covers the pages with Himself. When I listen to my Editor, others can see something in my story that would never be there if left up to me.

I honked my horn. I would like to tell you that I did it because of my concern for the safety and well-being of the other driver, but it wasn’t like that. I was in a hurry. I was rushing from one deadline to another appointment, and was impatient. The light turned green and the other driver didn’t move. I waited for a moment and still no forward motion. Finally, I honked my horn. The look she gave me wasn’t one of thankful appreciation.

I shrugged my shoulders and set my sights on reaching my destination. Still in front of me, the other driver matched the turns I was planning on taking. We seemed to be heading in the same direction. With big eyes, I watched her turn into the parking lot of my destination. All of the sudden, I felt a little ashamed.

I got out of my car, and so did she. We both walked into the shop. She wouldn’t even look my direction. No chance for a pleasant conversation. No opportunity to offer a blessing or extend grace. My impatience had closed a door that I didn’t even realize might be open.

Too many times, I forget that little moves can have a big impact. Small kindnesses can reveal deep love. A whispered word can shout compassion. An extended hand can point to open arms. The opposite is true as well. A moment of complaining feeds a discontent spirit. A thoughtless word punctures someone’s fragile hope. A second of impatience closes the door to someone’s heart.

My Jesus Resolution today is to count the cost. There is a cost in choosing to look like Jesus. It may require obedience, surrender, sacrifice, or setting down my own desires. But there is also a cost in choosing not to look like Jesus. My soul loses the opportunity to walk in His steps and catch a deeper glimpse of His heart. Another may see my behavior and not see Jesus at all.

Today is Star Wars Day. It is a play on the date May 4^th – May the Force be with you. We love Star Wars at our house. The classic movies tell the story of Luke Skywalker and his travels into another world. It is a world filled with adventure, unusual characters, challenges, struggles, and friendship. In this galaxy far, far away, Luke’s story mirrors the journey we all take to discover who we are and our place in the universe.

In many ways, Star Wars is a story about discovering and choosing your identity. Luke Skywalker is ripped from the home he has always known and confronted with the truth that there is more to his life than he could imagine. From the beginning, Star Wars is a movie about becoming and the choices that we make to get there. Every step of the way, Luke has to decide whether to take the easy path or the right path, to follow the way of the Force or the Dark Side.

One of the climatic moments in Star Wars happens when Luke discovers that the evil Darth Vader is really his father. In that revelation, Luke has a choice – follow in his father’s steps or choose his own destiny. Luke chooses light over darkness, saves the galaxy, and learns that good does triumph over evil.

Our stories will never be played out on the big screen, but the choices we make are even more dramatic. Like Luke, life gives us a choice about identity. Who do we want to be? The world calls us into the shadows, encouraging us to choose our own paths, to live within the confines it sets up for us, to make life what we can make of it. God calls us to live a life grounded in His reality. It is a bigger, more daring, more adventurous life than we could ever dream of for ourselves. It requires a leap of faith, surrender of all we are, and the willingness to be more than we could imagine on our own.

My Jesus Resolution today is to be who God wants me to be. He is willing to work in me to shape my identity and make me His own. I want to make the right choice. I want to live His adventure. I am willing to leave what is comfortable in order to be conformed into His likeness. Who do you want to be? The choice is yours. May the Lord be with you.