Casandra Martin

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Ruth Bell Graham

Forgiveness isn’t glamorous. It doesn’t inspire cards, holidays, songs, or cupids. There aren’t aisles devoted to celebrating its over-the-moon emotions nor do we hear pledges of undying forgiveness being made on one knee. But maybe we should. Forgiveness is the best foundation for a happy marriage.

The ability to be a good forgiver is one of the best predictors for a successful relationship. It doesn’t matter if you are talking about a marriage, a family, a church family, or a friendship, your willingness to forgive is central to the harmony and joy of your relationships. If I hold on to little slights, moments of unkindness, seasons of selfishness, and misunderstandings, it robs me of the ability to enjoy the people I love. Healthy connection can’t flourish when I choose to nurse hurts, grudges, and resentments.

Being a good forgiver begins by immersing ourselves in the forgiveness we have from Christ. Daily soaking in His grace and allowing His blood to wash away my sins, smooth out my wrinkles, and transform my life are the first steps into becoming a good forgiver. Grace is a messy miracle. It walks into my failings and loves, forgives, inspires, and heals. When I wear the banner of Forgiven across my heart, it frees me to forgive others and unleashes happiness in my relationships.

My Jesus Resolution today is to be a good forgiver. Forgiveness is the best gift that I can give to my husband, my children, my friends, and my family. The willingness to laugh rather than lament, grin rather than grind my teeth, and smile rather than smolder will go a long way to opening the door to happiness in my relationships. I need that grace. Giving and receiving forgiveness invites God to stand in the middle of who I am and who I love.