Casandra Martin

She had tears in her eyes. The last few months have been difficult ones. Changes within the inevitable ebb and flow of life have left her struggling and feeling alone. In the middle of a crowded room, she held my hands and poured out the ache of loneliness that seems to be swallowing her heart. People swirled around us, not recognizing the hungering need for friendship reflected in her eyes.

Loneliness hurts. It makes our hearts squeeze small, and amplifies the echo in our souls. Loneliness has the power to twist our perspective, rub against our joy, and rob us of our confidence. We all struggle with it. Every person you meet today has been touched by it. Some have deep scars. Others are wrestling in its grip right now. Each of us knows its pain.

Satan tries to tell us that we are alone in our aloneness. He says that our loneliness is a fault, a character flaw, a result of our unworthiness, and something about which we should be ashamed. If we were – prettier, smarter, thinner, wealthier, funnier, more educated, more successful, less successful, holier, wiser – something other than who we are, we wouldn’t be lonely. But remember who is talking. (John 8:44)

God said that it is not good for man to be alone. Loneliness is not a mark of shame, but a signpost of the intent of our Maker. We have been created in His image, and that image reflects the truth that our God is a God of community and connection. One of the most foundational promises that He gives us is His assurance that He “will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) A great cloud of witnesses also surrounds us, reminding us that we are not alone in the battle against loneliness. Elijah tried to throw in the towel because of it. David cried out in painful song because of it. Jesus struggled in the garden because of it.

My Jesus Resolution today is to ask God to open my eyes to loneliness – my own and someone else’s. My tendency is to wall off my loneliness and hide behind a façade of having-it-all-together. Instead, I am going to ask God to inhabit my loneliness, making me more aware of His presence, and helping me see past the boundaries I set up to protect my heart. I want to recognize the familiar ache in someone else’s eyes and respond with gentleness. Loneliness is real, but it doesn’t have to define our reality. God is here. So am I.